Why Is SOPA Bad?

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Let’s take the ideas in SOPA and apply them to the physical world to make them a bit more “concrete”.

To combat robbery of mug makers, a majore problem particularly because the mug maker lobby is very strong, lawmakers have created a bill designed to make mug robbery less profitable. The idea is that if someone tries to use the mug by placing it on a table the mug maker could require that the table maker requisition the table so that the robber is not able to benefit from having a table on which to place the mug. A strong deterrent indeed. Now the mug makers don’t need to provide any proof of the mugs illegal origins to anyone before requiring the table makers to jump in to action and remove all the tables of a house. Moreover, the identities of all accused people would need to be sent out to all stores that sell tables and then distributed to their employees to ensure that these accused criminals wouldn’t be able to replace their tables.

Now, the table makers are in a pickle here because they can’t really just go in to a random house and start removing tables.. these houses have locks. To ensure the table makers can retrieve these tables we will need to make sure that the locksmiths provide every table maker with a master key that will let them in to any house. This seems a little unsafe so to make sure things to get too out of hand let’s make all of the table makers pinky swear that they will only take tables from the houses that were flagged by the mug makers’ lawyers. This should make a good check and balance.

Anyone who is opposed to this proposed bill is clearly in league with the mug robbers. Especially the people from the table makers guild who keep complaining.